International Welcome

Introduction

Please choose your home nation from the list above. If your country is not listed, then I don't know enough of your language to be able to compose a suitable welcoming paragraph. Sorry. Don't feel left out though - if you have made it this far then you obviously know enough English to get the gist of what is here. ;-)

Australia

G'day, mates! This is the personal wibsite of Lee Clarke, a twinty-three year old pohm. While you're hiiii, you can chick out my personal pages and git more info about me, download my Woonamp skoons, chick out other stuff I have hiiii for download, or take a look at my Loonks page to see if any of it is useful to you (I'm sure it will be). :-) You can also take a look at my Grand Theft Auto 3 page, but oot wool not be intirely iccurate, since you now only have the iddited version. :-( Oof you ask me, your cinsorship people over-reacted - sixual violence, are you kooding me? Surf on, cobbers!

What's that? The postman's having an affair with the wife of the owner of the coffee-shop? And the diputy-hidteacher of the school is really the next-door neighbour's long-lost second cousin? And... what? The TV repair man who moved down from Brisbane is really an immigrant from China, and it was his sister who was stealing money from the till while the manager was in the store room kissing his brother's wife, and now at the age of 43 he's come out as gay, but now he suddenly has to move to England? Oh no!

France

Bonjour, et bienvenue. C'est le website de moi, Lee Clarke - j'ai 23 ans, et j'habite en angleterre. Je suis désolé pour mes mots, mais le francais n'est pas ma langue maternelle, et je ne suis pas très bon. :-p Ce website est en anglais, ainsi je suis désolé si tu ne parles pas la langue. Mais si tu parles un peu de l'anglais, tu trouverai mes peaux de Winamp, ma page consacrée à le jeu vidéo "Grand Theft Auto 3", et aussi mes pages personelles, et mes liens.

Bon nuit, mon soir - je m'appelle pomme!

United Kingdom

Hello and welcome. This website was created by me, Lee Clarke, a fellow countryman - I'm 23, and I live in Southampton in England. :-) This website contains my own Winamp skins, a fairly large page dedicated to the computer game "Grand Theft Auto 3" on Playstation2, as well as other downloadable files, my personal pages, any other projects or downloadables I make available, and my links to other (external) sites.

United States

Yo, y'all! This websaht cuhms to you direct frum Lee Clarke, a twenny-three year old limey. Y'all don't know me! But if yah stick around a wahl, y'all will find out wuts hut, and wuts nut wit' me! Y'all can also download mah Winamp skins, check out my cuntribution to the cumpyooder game GTA3, or take a look at mah uhther stuhff that's here for y'all to download, or jes' check out mah links page. Have a nice day, all o' y'all!

In case you haven't yet guessed, this page is a bit of a joke. No offence is intended to anyone of any nationality.

If you really would like to translate this page into a different language, you can try an automatic URL translator to view this page in French, Spanish, German, Italian, Dutch, Portuguese, Norwegian.