Page Contents About Me
My Education
Southampton, England
Personal Projects

About Me

My wee-mee, as created in the summer of 2004

On this page you will find information about my more personal self, just in case you're interested. :-)


My Favourites
Colour? Red. Perhaps blue. Green's nice too, come to think of it. Any primary colour except yellow really, that's just too darn weak to be a favourite colour. Not bright enough.
Video game? Resident Evil series, Grand Theft Auto series, Monkey Island series, The Getaway...
TV programme? EastEnders, Dr. Katz*, Malcolm In The Middle, Graham Norton, Queer As Folk (okay, so it was only on for a short time)
Musician group? All-time: ABBA, John Lennon. Modern: Eminem, Pink, Robbie Williams. Also: Pennywise, Offspring.
Drink? Boozy: strongbow, vodka and orange. Non-boozy: tea, Pepsi Max.
Fruit flavour? Raspberry, banana.
Weather? Rainy.
Time of day? Night-time.
Day of the week? How do I decide? Anything except Monday. What kind of a question is that anyway?
Elementary particle? Well, electrons I suppose, but...
Paper size? Erm, is that really...
Sex position? That's it! This interview is over.

Either / Or
Peanut butter - smooth or crunchy? Crunchy.
Jam - with or without seeds? With.
Coffee - black or white? Black.
Tea - black or white? White (I'm an equal-opportunities beverage drinker).
Tea or coffee? I prefer tea, but usually for quickness in the morning I make coffee.
Blur or Oasis? A bit of both; Oasis have made more songs I like than Blur, though.
Pepsi or Coke? Pepsi (Max).
Vice City or The Getaway? This is hard, because they're really different games. Either or both, depending on my mood.
McDonalds or Burger King? I choose Wimpy, actually.

Stats For Pratts

As if you can sum up a human being with a list of numbers, in this section I attempt to sum myself up as a list of numbers.

Quantity Source Unit The Official Stat
Typing speed Some computer-based test Words per minute 80
IQ The BBC's National IQ Test and the IQ test at 100 ~ average 133
Un-telligence The un-telligence test at % 53
Life expectancy The Death Test at Years 57
Probability of dying during sex The Sex Test at % 36
Sexiness The Sex Test at % 19
Gayness The Gay Test at % 44
Love factor The Love Test at % 38
Purity The Purity Test at % 53
Evilness rating This Home Evilness Test % 28
Greediness The Greed Test at % 60
YOU ARE CARTMAN. You're not fat, you're big-boned. You love bossing people around and just being an all around dick. Respect my authority !!
I'm Eric Cartman - which South Park Character are you?
[Bedtime Bear - this is which Care Bear I am most like!]
If I were a Care Bear...
My pirate name is: Red Sam Cash
"Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!" Get your own pirate name from, part of the network

Random-Lee Generated Facts*

* This concept was inspired by (by which I mean directly copied from) the Matt Facts of Matt Hardy version 1. Correspondingly, I had to name this section after a stupid pun on my own name. I can only pray for forgiveness.

Brief Autobiography

While still in single figures I started programming my first computer using BASIC - it was a Commodore C64, first produced in 1982 (it's now also in the Guinness Book Of Records as the most successful computer in history, selling around thirty million units between 1982 and 1993). I was in my teens before I progressed to other formats and languages. I dabbled a little in Assembly on the C64, and also in BASIC on the Archimedes Acorn A3000. At university I learned Visual Basic on the PC, and now that I've graduated I've taken the time to learn HTML (hence this website) and have also just enrolled on another course in computing. I've also written a couple of essays (see the Essays table below).

I started learning to play the piano when I was about thirteen - of course that's rather late to begin learning an instrument. My teacher was a great believer in classical music training, and I continued to have lessons for about five years, thoroughly learning music theory up to and including grade five. Whilst the piano is the only instrument I have ever had formal lessons with, I have also played around with the violin, double bass, and recorder.

My eBay Page
My Page

Pictures Of Me

The Boy

[me at 8 years old, with purple hair and black lipstick]

Okay, okay, so that picture isn't a real photograph of me. :-p I've doctored it to give the 8-year-old me a new image. The real pictures are below - they're all scanned from photographs. Sadly some of the pictures were a little dirty - they were taken in the days before I had digital cameras, scanners and so on... :-( Ages quoted are approximate (judging from my brothers, who are in some of the original photos too) - click on any picture to see a larger version.

[me as a happy (and very cute) boy of about 1 or 2 years old]
Age 24 months
[me at 2 years old, looking perhaps a little self-conscious]
Age 2
[me at 3 years old, in brown dungarees]
Age 3
[me aged 6 - the poet pose, in a polo-neck jumper]
Age 6
[me aged 7, outside for a change, wearing a duffel coat]
Age 7
[me aged 8, putting on an obviously fake smile]
Age 8
[me aged 9, with the first in a long line of butch men on my chest (it's an A-Team top, with a picture of Mr. T)]
Age 9

The Man

So many people seem interested in what I look like IRL now that I have finally conceded to put a picture of the modern-ish me here. This pic was taken in I think 2002, probably about the middle of that year. Maybe I will add more up-to-date pics if the mood takes me, but knowing me, probably not. :-p The first South Park sketch of me was crafted by my good self using a South Park character creation webpage. :-) You can also download a short video, created with WinMorph.

[me at age 22, wearing a green shirt and silver-grey tie]
Summer 2002
A sketch of what I might look like if I were a character in South Park (links to the full-size version)
South Park sketch 1
Another sketch of what I might look like if I were a character in South Park (links to the full-size version)
Summer 2004

My Education

These educational establishments helped me get where I am today. :-)

Name/Link Age Attended Comments
Southampton Family Centre (no website) 3-4 This was my pre-school, which I attended for a year or two before starting school. Used to be on the site of BGM (see below) but was knocked down a fair few years ago now.
Bassett Green First School
(no website)
4-8 BGF was knocked down to make way for basketball courts, a few years ago now. :-( I don't think it ever had a website while it was standing. Apparently the buildings were originally erected as temporary accommodation in 1936, so it's surprising they remained as long as they did, in hindsight of that fact. BGF and BGM (below), which were on adjacent sites, were combined to form Bassett Green Primary School.
Bassett Green Primary School 8-12 BG Middle School (BGM) was renamed to BG Junior School, BGF was renamed BG Infant School (logical - there was never a BG Last School :-p), and the two were amalgamated on the site of the old BGM to form BG Primary School. Here is the website of that school as it is now.
Cantell Secondary School 12-16 Used to be called Glen Eyre School, but that was before I was there. I attended this school for the final four years of my compulsory education, and achieved 10 GCSEs at grade C or above, plus a D in geography - d'oh! Be sure to click on the picture to enter the main website.
Taunton's College 16-18 I studied 3 A-levels here (a two-year course) and achieved a B in Physics, B in Maths & Statistics, and C in Chemistry, totalling 22 UCAS points.
Southampton University 18-21 Not to be confused with Southampton Institute, a local pseudo-university. I enrolled on the three-year Bachelor of Science (Honours) degree course in physics. At the end of the second year I transferred to the ordinary degree course, which allowed me a wider range of subjects to study. I successfully achieved my Bachelor of Science (ordinary) degree, and graduated in July 2001. Wanna see a scan of my certificate? ;-)
My Friends Reunited page

Southampton, England

The historic City of Southampton is my life-long home - I was born and bred here. In case you're interested in the city's extensive history, I include a few choice links here to get you started. Other features near modern-day Southampton include the rural New Forest and Beaulieu, famous for its National Motor Museum.



Personal Projects

Standardising Time

An essay I wrote after leaving university (July 2001), which discusses standardising analogue time and proposes a standard way of writing dates, as well as outlining a system of metric time and a new metric calendar.


An essay I wrote in the early hours of May 8th, 2002. It's really a philosophical meander through concepts of self, other people, and different points of view. The route is firmly in the direction of achieving tolerance and a better world.

* If you know where I can get hold of Dr. Katz on DVD, then please contact me to tell me about it!